How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…”
–by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
OK it’s time to get back to basics.
Why Buy Any Gift?
We all know that the reason why buy gifts in the first place is a way of showing our love- that’s the aim to keep in mind. However, just like there are different learning styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) so there are corresponding ways for feeling loved.
Visual Gift Ideas
The visual learner absorbs information best by looking at pictures, graphs, diagrams, and illustrations. To communicate love, the visual person needs to see it. The best gifts are tangible things that can be seen:
- visually interesting or colourful gifts
- photographic gifts that show you both together
When speaking to your wife, if she’s a visually oriented person, look her directly in the eye and be aware of your body language and facial expressions, as they’ll all be providing subconscious visual clues to her.
Auditory Gift Ideas
The auditory oriented person needs to hear it in order to “get it”. Love is communicated by telling her that you love her and also by the tone of the voice- these all “say” that you care about her. The best gifts for the auditory oriented wife are:
- Music and audio books
- Opportunities to talk and discuss e.g. a dinner or date in place where you can talk and listen to each other
An auditory-oriented partner needs to hear the words “I love you” frequently.
Kinesthetic Gift Ideas
In a relationship with a kinesthetic oriented woman, if you don’t touch her often, she may not feel loved by you or may even feel rejected.
Snuggles on the couch, big bear hugs, holding hands or massages are all happily received by kinesthetics. The best gifts for the auditory oriented wife are:
- massages or pampering at a spa
- dancing together
- soft, warm, tactile fabrics and goods like snuggly sweaters, scarves, pashminas
How to tell which type your wife is
By knowing which type your wife is, you can tailor-make the gift to suit her and know that it will be communicating the real purpose of the gift more powerfully.
If you have read this article and still have no idea which type or types your wife fits in to then I offer two strategies:
1. Cover all your bases with all three!
Most people have a bit of each in their make-up so by choosing gifts and activities that cover the auditory, visual and kinesthetic you are making sure that your message will be delivered in the gift.
2. Ask her.
With questions like “Do you know that I love you?” and then “How do you know?” she will reveal the ways that she currently associates with your showing her how you love her. Listen carefully and then try to figure out which category it is. Or you can just do more of the same, but better and use your imagination to expand on it.
I hope this has offered you an insight into more effective ways of coming up with wife gift ideas!