I don’t mean to be sexist but, most guys are totally rubbish when it comes to buying gifts for their partner. Of course there are exceptions, like my husband, but those aren’t the type of guys I see every year on Christmas Eve with panic-stricken faces clutching cheap lacy thongs in one hand and a bottle of Eau-de-stinqué in the other.

Guys, don’t be this guy- instead discover how easy this stuff can be and how you can bask the glory of successful gift giving as you her melt her heart with your thoughtfulness.

As a woman with a scientific background who has spent the vast majority of her schooling and career surrounded by men, I am in the unique position to let you in on the key principles I have extracted from this complex and fuzzy domain. Armed with these simple, logical instructions you will be the undisputed king of successful gift-giving.

This article will grow as I add more chapters which describe the nuances and provide suggestions for the major gift occasions in your calendar. This intro illustrates the fundamental concepts that can be applied to any gift-giving situation where the recipient is a woman. Later I will add chapters on specific occasions like Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversaries and much more.

But first, let’s take a look at the actual meaning of that well-known phrase “It’s the thought that counts”.

1.1 Thoughtfulness Score

It’s the thought that counts. Yeah sure you’ve heard it before; maybe you yourself uttered those words apologetically one time, suddenly convinced that your gift would be rejected. But what does it actually mean and what exactly separates the thoughtful present from the thought-less?

It does not mean that any old rubbish earns you points simply for remembering the occasion. This is like avoiding an “F” grade for not handing in an assignment by submitting a sheet of paper with only your name on it and receiving a “D”. Great, but guess what? You just failed.

Discover a better way: a very little homework will suffice and you’ll consistently score B’s and A’s!

Your aim is to earn as many points on the Thoughtfulness Score as possible by making her feel special, cared for, unique by making the gift relevant to some aspect of her life or personality.

Here are some examples gifts with your thoughtful commentary and her possible interpretation:

Gift: Soft leather gloves

You say: “I got you these gloves for driving because I know how cold your hands get in winter”

She thinks: He cares about my well-being, he notices that I often have cold hands.

Ways you can still blow it: If your wife is a vegan then a gift made of the soft hide ripped off the back of a baby cow is going to earn you nothing!

Gift: Small format books that are small enough to fit in her handbag.

You say: “I got you these smaller format books to stop you getting bored on your commute”

She thinks: He thinks about me.

Ways you cans till blow it: If your wife is into romance novels and you buy her a set of gory crime novels.

Or you say: “I got you this red Ferrari because it matches your favourite shade of lipstick!”

OK so it has a different price tag but, believe it or not, to many women (excepting those hung up on material goods) this example will get you about the same amount of points for thoughtfulness as the previous ones! Why? Because it proves that you have noticed some details about her, that you have been thinking about her and her well-being and this makes her feel special.

In the next section we’ll look at ways to increase your thoughtfulness score.

1.1.1 Boosting Your Thoughtfulness Score

1.1.1.1 Ask Questions

Maybe you’ve been married for decades or maybe it’s a brand new relationship, either way, how well do you know your wife/girlfriend? Do you remember that 80’s film “Green Card” where Gerard Depardieu and Andy McDowell have to answer a barrage of questions about each others preferences- just how well would you perform?

Like, on a scale of 1 to 5 how much does she like chocolate? Is it white/milk/plain? Tea or coffee person? Cats or dogs? What would she do if she won the lottery? What’s her favourite colour? Who’s her favourite writer/actors? Favourite films/TV shows? Pizza/Chinese/Indian/French? Pet-hates? What characteristics does she admire in others? Favourite season and why? Favourite childhood memory? Who is her style icon? Favourite flowers? Or maybe she prefers pot plants or seeds? Top 5 destinations in the world?

If you have the answers to question like these then you’re set for a score card of straight A’s. If you don’t then get asking and taking mental notes- and here’s a free bonus: just asking questions like these boosts your thoughtfulness score! Plus it strengthens your relationship and gets you ready for Mr and Mrs should they ever choose to broadcast that stellar 70’s show again

1.1.1.2 No More Mr. Forgetful

If you’re reading this then chances are you have access to the Internet and have at least a basic understanding of Google. Google have a bunch of tools and one that is very useful is the Calendar. If you’re the kind of guy who wanders though life blithely unaware of birthdays, anniversaries but somehow has all major sporting events for the next 12 months memorised then you need to follow these instructions:

1. Contact your loved ones by phone, email or whatever and ask them when their birthday is. If they’re married get their anniversary date. Get the birthdays of their children and anything else relevant that they make a point of celebrating every year. Do the most important ones first.
2. Collate all this info in a Google Calendar. Each time you add a date, set it to repeat annually and also set a reminder. You can have reminders sent to you by email or SMS on the day and a week before the event (or however long you think you need to sort it out). Note there’s an alternative service called Plaxo that lets you mail a bunch of people and have them fill in their details for you, you can also set up email reminders.

1.2 Presentation

So you’re confident (based on your interviewing above) that you have a winner, and you even have a small back-up gift just in case. However, that paper you bought shredded like toilet paper and the tape kept sticking to your fingers…now it looks less than inspiring, do women notice stuff like that?

Actually, it depends.

Some women love the sloppy look because it proves that her fella took the time to wrap it himself, thereby actually earning you more thoughtfulness points.

Others however might give you a “look what the cat’s dragged in” derisory glare, especially if the gift is presented in front of other people at some posh event. So basically you have to figure this one out for yourself, and who knows maybe you’re famous for your neat and precise gift-wrapping but I can tell you that the easiest method is the gift bag with tissue paper option. They usually even come with a tag on the bag which can be helpful in case you don’t have a separate greetings card.

1.3 Summary

No matter how much you want to spend or in which shop, it pays to do a bit of research with your wife/girlfriend beforehand to maximise your Thoughtfulness Score and the likelihood that she will be delighted, feeling loved and special. No more going to pieces at the last-minute and/or thought-less gifts, you’re the considerate husband she’s always dreamed of and you’re going from strength to strength.

Coming Soon Part II: Christmas.

Personalized Photo Gifts

Never underestimate the importance of a personalised present.

Your digital camera could be the way into a whole genre of thoughtful gifts for your wife. Photo companies offer a huge array of products these days- they’ve moved on from the chunky coffee mug to an array of high quality products that, when used with a good image, capture a special moments forever and make beautiful and thoughtful gifts. This article presents some photo gift ideas from PhotoBox.co.uk- the only company I use and recommend to friends and family.

Laser-etched Photo Gifts

Take, for example these solid glass, laser etched photo gifts- the photo of your choice is laser etched into the middle of a glass cube, glass paperweight or a glass frame making a timeless classic and elegant keepsake. These are particularly good for photos of your children or wedding photos.

Handbag Photo gifts

Does your wife like bags? If she does then PhotoBox.co.uk make personalised handbags, totes and shopper bags in a variety of shapes and sizes- all with the image you choose to make any style statement you like.

Even if you’re not so good at taking photos yourself (although it’s worth giving serious thought to this as a life worth living is worth recording…!) you can easily procure photos from friends and family via social networks like FaceBook and on photo sharing places like Flickr and Picasa .

Fashion Photo gifts

Everyone does personalised T-shirts but now you can get a much wider selection: create your own catwalk worthy designs for kitchen aprons, bibs, fashion tops. Choose a design, pick a colour, add an illustration or photo, a few well chosen words and you’re done.

Try to get into the habit of asking people for their photos after get-togethers and build a library. I use Picasa on my PC and iPhoto for Mac users looks great. With such programs you can favourite the best ones and then when you need to make a photo gift you can just browse through your collection.

Personalized photo gifts make fantastic presents for your wife- just get yourself a system for keeping digital photos and it’ll make an invaluable source of wife gift ideas that you can rely on for all sorts of occasions.

Giving Flowers

Sometimes it seems that flower gifts are less well-regarded than they used to be, often viewed as cliché or the last-minute option found in sad little bunches at petrol stations and it appears they can even have a stigma attached to them.

My husband noted a strange atmosphere in the shop the last time he bought me flowers- the women serving him practically accused him of trying to make up for having done something dishonourable, all very good naturedly, but even so.

Why is it that flowers have slipped in our estimations? Well I think it’s time for a flower revival: everyone should give more flowers and crucially, inject a little more imagination and thoughtfulness into the act. Here’s how:

Flower Gifts

It’s hard to think of a more versatile gift: from the simple posy of free field flowers that say “I was just thinking about you” to a gorgeous designer bouquet with a somewhat grander statement, giving flowers can suit all sorts of moods, occasions and women.

At the florists

When you walk into a florists, don’t feel pressured to go for a ready-made bouquet- you can just make your own selection and have the florist put it together for you. Men very often go for red roses because they have been told that these are the flowers that mean romance, but don’t be tied down by such limiting ideas.

Of course if your wife loves roses then it would be wise to include some, but flowers change with the seasons so take advantage of those in season- they’re at their best and they cost less too!

Make use of the florist’s expertise- they are a wealth of information on the best combinations of flowers, how to make a small posy look bigger, which flowers have the best scents, which flowers are in season etc.

Flower Ideas – Name

For ideas on which flowers to buy consider things like your wife’s name- are there any flowers that sound like that? Also does her name actually mean flower?

Flower Ideas – Birth Month

What about the month she was born in? Did you know that there is a traditional flower for every month of the year?

Take a look at the Birth Month Flower Table below:

Flower Ideas – Places

Perhaps there’s a place which holds some significance for your wife e.g. where you spent your honeymoon.

Find out which plants or flowers originates from there or are indigenous to that place. The beauty of a gift like this is that every time it blooms it will remind her of the time you had together and of you.

Flower Ideas – Favourites

Giving flowers that are her favourite colour or even her favourite flower is a simple idea that’s sure to be a winner!

Don’t Cut the Flowers!

Some women don’t like cut flowers so find out beforehand. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to give up on the idea of giving flowers, you can still buy a potted house plant, a flowering plant for outdoors or even seeds.

Plant Gift Ideas

There are too many plants to list but here are just a few ideas I thought of that would make thoughtful presents.

Blooming Good luck!

Find great savings in the OASIS Summer Sale – now with an extra 20% off for a limited time only!

Oasis is a clothing store but did you know they now also carry the Odille range of luxury lingerie? Well there’s a sale on at the moment, and as of today, there’s an extra 20% off.
Perfect for summer wife or girlfriend birthdays or just one of those “saw this and thought of you, darling!”

Hurry, sale stock is limited and the sale will finsih by the end of July 2009.

Gift Chocolates

Chocolate has to be one of the most universally appreciated gifts, and it’s so versatile: from the humblest little “saw this and thought of you” bar of organic chocolate to the “huge statement” enormous box of fancy and expensive truffles. Read on for more tips.

Chocolate Preferences

If your wife has specific chocolate preferences then make sure to take these into account when buying!

When buying chocolate for your wife you have to realize that there is an added depth, that you as a man may not appreciate. It’s not just chocolate to women; chocolate is a sensual substance.

This means that getting personal preferences right is very important!

Dark, White or Milk? Many women have a preference for dark or white chocolate, some are so picky as to set a minimum percentage of cocoa solids that it must contain- whichever end of the scale your wife is at, find out before you shop.

Here’s a list of common chocolate objections:

• chocolates with liqueur filling,
• chocolate with nuts,
• chocolates with coffee flavors
• chocolates with fondant filling,
• chocolate with raisins,
• chocolate with mint.

Again, it’s best to know these preferences before you buy.

Chocolate Ideas

Make her a chocolate cake or chocolate cupcakes!

I have made some of these chocolate cake recipes so many times and it always turns out great- in fact I even used this recipe to teach some kids how to bake and, in spite of several mishaps, the cupcakes turned out perfectly!

This makes a super-thoughtful gift as not only are you giving the gift of chocolate but you also took the time to make something creative!

Valentines Ideas

Love it or loathe it, February 14 is coming and if your loved one is expecting a gift then you had better get organized and get yourself some Valentine Ideas!

As usual I’m giving all the “Insider Information”, although you might think Valentine’s Day is pretty straightforward- silly, soppy girly stuff!

Well kind of, but you’re missing the point. To score maximum brownie points on Valentine’s Day you have to do one thing: make her feel special.

You know, like she’s the only one in the world, like she’s unique and that you care. It’s not the gift or the gesture itself, it’s what it means, and for that you have to know a little about her (see The Art of Giving- A Logical Guide for Men); maybe a card is all it will take, maybe a romantic gesture like a meal, maybe a gift. I’ll be giving some ideas for romantic gestures you can make in the next article, this article is focussed on ideas for gifts and I’m playing it safe and staying well within the normal bounds of Valentine’s Day gifts:

• Heart shapes
• Pink or Red items are usually a winner
• Anything to do with Love or Romance.

I have scoured the internet on your behalf for gifts for valentines; below are my top picks, for every budget and in a wide variety of categories and “Slush Factors”. As usual, I’m only using products or retailers I can personally vouch for.

Heart Jewellery

Pretty in Pink

Benefit Cosmetics’ product mix of cosmetics, fragrances and accessories appeals to the glamour gal in women of all ages.
Cupid’s bow lip shaping set – lip liner £21.50 Apparently “cupids bow” is “the double curve of the upper lip”, well I did not know that! This aptly-named item comes with dual-ended brush & sponge for defining and blending. Each cupid’s bow has a step-by-step lesson, so it’s as easy as blowing a kiss!	Her Glossiness – lip gloss £13 “…this impossibly shiny lip gloss glides on smooth for A-list lips that will give ‘em something to gossip about. The luxurious formula with jojoba oil makes your lips feel five-star pampered…”	Maybe baby – body lotion 19.50 “Inspired by our signature maybe baby fragrance, this silky, shimmering body lotion leaves your skin lightly moisturized and delicately scented. Slip it on for sexy, bare skin beauty.”
Utterly frivolous products of course, but if you’re trying to impress a glamour girl or disco diva with your thoughtfulness then any of these come highly recommended…

Electronic Valentine

Romantic Books

Top Love Songs

Kitchen Love

Say it with Flowers… when only a cliché will do!

Office romance

Lingerie

If you’re considering buying lingerie then please read my Guide I recommend figleaves for their no-fuss and FREE return policy so even if it’s not suitable it can be returned and exchanged for something that is. It’s an easy site to use with lots of helpful guides.

And that’s it for some gift ideas to get you thinking, hopefully you’ve seen something that you think might work. For the ultimate in Valentine’s Day though, watch out for my article coming soon on Romantic Gestures for ideas on how to sweep her off her feet all over again!

Welcome to Wife Gift Ideas Part II in which we demystify gift-giving at Christmas. But before we get to that, how did you get on with Part I? Did you do your homework and ask some of those questions? If not then get to it, you’re going to need the answers for your Christmas shopping.

It seems to be there are unwritten rules associated with occasions like Birthdays, Valentines and Christmas well here’s my top rule for Christmas: LuxFactor

Of course, you must work on your Thoughtfulness Score, but gifts at this time of year tend to stick to one of the main Christmas Categories, but we’ll get to that later.

LuxFactor

Lux Factor is the luxury rating that you can apply to any product. Like with cars: a BMW Series 1 can cost less than a Renault Espace but the BMW has the LuxFactor.

We’re looking for gifts that ooze luxury. Important note: this doesn’t always mean expensive, just the best-of-breed or the most decadent in its class e.g. chocolate- choose a luxury (organic) brand with a high percentage of cocoa solids, for a scarf we want cashmere or silk.

High LuxFactor items are generally those that she would never normally buy for herself, as they’re too luxe for every day.

Plus for high LuxFactor you need suitable wrapping materials, you can cheapen a wonderful LuxFactor by using rubbishy wrapping paper but on the other hand score loads more points with an lower LuxFactor gift by dressing it up with some quality finishing materials.

Christmas Categories

Christmas gifts fall into a few well-defined categories:

• Personal Grooming (stuff for face, body, hair, nails)
• Hobbies & Interests (sports, books, cooking, gadgets, photography)
• Clothing & Accessories (underwear, outerwear, shoes, accessories, jewellery)
• Food & Drink (Chocolate, Booze, gourmet)
• Christmassy Things (Candles, diaries, pens)

This is fantastic news as it means you don’t have to wrack your brain thinking about the wackiest/most unexpected present, instead you can zero-in on the areas you know your partner likes (thanks to those questions in Part I) and just make sure your get the LuxFactor right.

Note on recommendations. All the things I recommend are from brands I know and love or brands that my mother, sisters or female friends know and love! I’m including some links to make life easier but above all because I, hand on heart, believe that these products are fantastic and will make well received gifts. My aim is to help you pick out the gems that will hit the mark.

Good luck and don’t leave it until the last minute!

Although if you do, Amazon vouchers must surely be the best way to instantly save face: redeemable against millions of products and you can even print your own certificate to give her.

Lingerie as a present can make for a wonderful, intimate experience for both the gift-giver and receiver but, it can also be a nightmare- a huge, embarrassing, frustrating nightmare which results in a present that fails to hit the mark.
Here are the 4 big mistakes that lingerie novices make over and over again.

Not Knowing the Sizing
Lingerie sizing is really not that complicated however when lingerie novices go shopping they often forget about the single most important detail– the vital statistics of their wife! No wonder they look so bewildered…
Make sure you do your research and get the right sizing. You need  3 basic bits of information:

• bra size: number plus letter (note that this is normally in inches, but some shops are now switching to metric)
• dress size (a number, in the UK starts at 6, 8, 10 and so on),
• general size (XS (eXtra Small), S (Small), M (Medium) and so on).

It is wise to get all three, as knickers, camisoles and corsets can be sized as either the dress size or the general size. Note that if the shop is using some other sizing then method then just ask for help in converting the sizing data you have into the store equivalent.
When you’re looking for sizing labels, check the sets of underwear she wears most often- it’s no good checking lingerie she never wears because she may well be avoiding it because it no longer fits.
You should also check several items to be sure to get the correct size, sometimes women can have different sized items, if you’re not sure then pick the ones she wears most often.

Not Knowing Where to Shop
Lingerie novices can have a terrible time shopping what with all the hassles of a normal shopping trip combined with the extra stresses of being way outside their comfort zone. They get so hassled by the suspicious stares of the female shoppers around them that they grab the first thing that catches their eye and make a beeline for the checkout. Don’t be this guy- go shopping online first and take your time!
From the comfort of your desk you can peruse many different styles, colours and moods of lingerie. Some online places are better than other, but most have great search facilities that let you plug in the sizing you’re looking for, the price range and then you go from there- they can show you matching items from the same range and they may even gift wrap it for you. Which brings me on to my next point…

Forgetting About the Presentation
The whole thing with lingerie, at least as I understand it, is that it’s a luxury item and a sexy present. Well in that case the presentation must match the contents. Don’t be like the novice and just use the plastic bag the items were purchased in, make an effort with the gift wrapping.

OK, if fiddling with ribbons and tape isn’t your thing then get someone else to do it for you, like the store you bought it from or use a luxury style gift box which is incredibly simple but very effective and will set the right tone for your gift.

Not Paying Attention to the Refund Policy
Even after all your best detective efforts, the lingerie you chose may well just not fit. In this case be well prepared and keep the receipt, or ask for a gift receipt when purchasing so that she can change it herself. Check the returns policy of the store and don’t rip off tags that need to be left in place in case of exchange.